That Prickling Feeling
by Nevermore's Shadow
Summary: After a night out on the town, Korra admits to herself that she may not just be looking at Asami as a friend any longer. (Korrasami, shortfic)
1. Prickle

**Author's Note: It's been a while since I've written any fanfiction, but here is my return. Is it a triumphant one? Well, that's for you to decide.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Legend of Korra or any of the related names.**

_Dear Diary,_

_Asami told me that sometimes when she's feeling overwhelmed she pulls out a bit of paper and a pen and starts writing her thoughts down, just in an effort to try to collect them. So... here I am, trying to sort things out. Being the Avatar hasn't exactly given me a lot of free time, and as much as Tenzin insists meditating will help me relax and focus, there is still way too much buzzing around in my head like an angry buzzard wasp, just waiting to sting me at the worst possible moment. And believe me, you don't want to get stung by a buzzard wasp. Well, I suppose you wouldn't mind, you're just a piece of paper. Am I supposed to be writing to a piece of paper, or myself? Never mind._

_I think Tenzin forgets that, in addition to being the Avatar, I am a teenage girl who likes to get out and have fun from time to time. I can see the furrowed brow, looking at me disapprovingly whenever I head out for an afternoon with Bolin and Mako. I swear his beard gets pointier the more irritated he gets, and that vein on his temple can't stand out any further and still be healthy. I guess all that meditating hasn't done you as much good as you'd like to have us all believe, eh, Tenzin?_

_Anyway, that's not the point I was going to make here. I suppose I'm beating around the bush because I feel awkward even writing, in a book no one else is going to read, what I've really been thinking about lately. It all started last week, when Asami rescued me from an impressively dull lesson in airbending culture (with all that I've heard about Avatar Aang, there's no way that all of these gurus were as boring as Tenzin makes them seem). We rode around town on her motorcycle for a while. I hope she'll teach me how to drive it soon. Whenever I ask her about driving lessons, particularly on her bike, she looks at me like I just asked if I could kick a baby into Yue Bay, though she usually softens and says "Someday, young avatar, when you have proven yourself worthy." in her best serious guru voice before breaking into a laugh. This is where everything started to go downhill on this particular day. When she started laughing, I felt a bit of a prickle on the back of my neck. Not a bad one, just something I was barely aware of, but as the day went on, that prickle grew._

_Our first stop was a clothing shop. Yes, I know, how cliche, two girls going out clothing shopping. Asami had an important business meeting the next day and wanted me to help her find new clothes to wear. With each outfit she put on, I felt that prickle seeping down my spine slowly. It wasn't fair, I thought. I certainly am not unattractive, and my training keeps me in shape, but Asami is so beautiful in a different way. She moves so fluidly. I may be able to perform bending moves and weave my way around hand-to-hand, but Asami carries that grace over into daily life. So many of the outfits hugged her body so perfectly that I found myself stuttering when she asked how she looked. In the end, she decided on a black and red (they called it "vermilion," but it certainly looked red to me) jacket and skirt combination. The jacket showed no skin, but gripped Asami's curves well enough that it left little to the imagination. Not that I imagined anything. Shut up. The skirt, on the other hand, showed off a fair amount of pale, muscular leg. Damn. That prickling feeling is coming back._

_After that, we decided to go out for noodles. Asami hadn't been to Jin Tao's noodle shop yet, so I figured this would be as good of a time as any, before the next world-shattering crisis came up. I won't go into boring details, but we talked and laughed for hours. Whenever Asami laughed, there was this certain way she threw her head back that I couldn't help but be transfixed by, and the way her curls fell back around her face when she leaned forward. She looked almost wild, with her red lips curled in a smirk. That's when that prickling hit my chest. I've never really looked at her like that before. Sure, I've noticed she was pretty. It's hard not to when you're feeling incredibly jealous. There's just something about the way the lanterns in the noodle shop caught her eyes that made me realize that she was really, truly beautiful. I wish I knew what that prickle was._

_I'm lying. To you, stupid book, and myself. I know what that prickle is. I felt it with Mako, and I'm feeling it again now. I've never really looked at a girl that way before, and it's weird: I'm perfectly okay with it. Will I ever do anything about it? I don't know... I've always felt Asami and I made a pretty good team, but I'm not sure how she'd feel if I talked to her. It just gives me butterflies thinking about it. Damn it, I just looked in a mirror and I'm blushing. You know what? Forget this. This is stupid._

Korra curled her fingers around the few pages she'd written and tore them out of the book. She glared at them angrily, as if they'd done something to personally offend her and made a swift gesture with her other hand, conjuring fire from the air. She hesitated, biting her lip. The fire reached up from her hand, trying hard to reach the pages which would surely make a good bit of fuel. Korra waved her hand with a sigh, dismissing the flames and tucking the pages back in the book.

"It's not like anyone ever has to know," she muttered, shoving the book into a drawer and slamming it shut. She leaned back and crossed her arms over her chest, glancing out of her window at the grand view of Republic City. Lights glimmered and moved to and fro as Satomobiles and Cabbage Cars carried their owners where they needed to go. On one of the nearby buildings, Korra could see an immense advertisement for Future Industries, featuring Asami standing near a new model of car. She looked stunning as always, that very professional smile gracing her lips, though her golden eyes betrayed a bit of her mischief. Damn. There was that prickle again.


	2. A Night at the Opera

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was overall a pretty decent day. It started a tad bit earlier than I would have preferred, with pre-breakfast meditation. I'm fairly certain that my stomach grumbled so hard that the next three Avatars will feel its reverberations. So, when this diary full of wisdom is passed down to my successors, let me be the first to say - sorry, guys. Breakfast was pleasant, though there are definitely times I miss a good sausage early in the morning. Maybe one of these days I'll ask Asami to go to breakfast with me, and skip the meal with Tenzin and family._

_Tenzin actually let me have a little bit of fun today: in order to hone my airbending skills further, he told me to play airball with the kids. Things were going fairly smoothly until Ikki and Meelo, playing opposite Jinorah and myself, got into a disagreement over who had officially scored the most recent point. The tussle that resulted was extremely entertaining to say the least, but ended with Tenzin implying that my aggression was rubbing off on them. Thankfully, Pema came to my aide and convinced Tenzin that what I needed most was a day off. Truly, Pema is a much bigger hero than I will ever be._

_I met up with Mako, Bolin, and Asami downtown for lunch - an assortment of grilled meats and vegetables on sticks. This was definitely an improvement on the porridge that made up my breakfast, not that I'm complaining again, mind you. As we walked through the market, talking around mouthfuls of food, we discussed our plans for the day. Mako was, as always, the boring, responsible one - he was behind in filing reports, so was going to bow out as the afternoon turned to dusk. Bolin was anxious to see a new mover, something about a giant iguana parrot terrorizing Republic City. While this sounded like a good time to me, Asami just grimaced and mentioned that she had obtained tickets to an opera that night. Bolin continued trying to convince me that the mover would definitely be more interesting - and have much better screeching - than the opera, and I honestly agreed with him._

_I suppose it shows just how bad things are getting that I passed up on a chance to see what Bolin would later describe as "the mover to end all movers," and instead go to an opera - an art form that I have no real interest in whatsoever. What can I say? The disappointment in Asami's eyes when I indicated that the mover sounded like fun was just a bit too much for me. So, after Bolin headed off to the theater with Pabu chattering away on his shoulder, Asami declared that my usual garb was not going to suffice for a formal night out. We went to Air Temple Island to retrieve more formal wear for myself. Asami helped me get everything sorted in order, though she paused for a moment to touch my upper arm and raise her eyebrows, commenting on how much more muscular I'd become since my training had intensified. I melted, though I tried not to show it. I think she picked up on it, however, and patted my arm, grinning as she said that I shouldn't let it go to my head. She finished helping me get my hair in a bun, covered with a blue and white cloth, very fashionable in the Southern Water Tribe these days. She then held up a mirror for me, proudly beaming, "We'll make a socialite out of you yet." She then excused herself to get changed from her street clothes, as I straightened out my formal gear, consisting of deep blue pants and one of the few tops that I owned (light blue, for the record) that didn't have a few tears or patches from training and fighting._

_Of course, for all of the cleaning myself up that I did, I couldn't quite compare to what I saw when Asami stepped back into the room. I'd like to point out that I really have no problem with the way that I look - in fact, I'd say I look pretty damn good, but Asami has a certain knock out quality to her, especially when she dresses to the nines in a form fitting red silk dress with gold Fire Nation patterns mingled with dragons throughout, her hair in a loose bun. Apparently, I am terrible at reacting in anything resembling a non-chalant way, as Asami smirked, crossing the room, her heels clacking on the wood, and placed one finger on my lower jaw, closing my hanging mouth, "You're going to give me a big head. Besides, you look great yourself. None of the boys will be able to keep their eyes off of us." She hesitated when she said this, looking at me as if she expected me to say something, then shook her head when I remained stunned, "No worries, I'm your date for the night. No handsome titan of industry is going to sweep me off of my feet tonight." She slipped her arm around mine and we made our way to a waiting car - we were going all out tonight, it seemed, as Asami's driver was the one taking the wheel tonight._

_I wish I could tell you the first thing about the opera. There was a lot of high pitched singing that I couldn't quite make out the words to, and a few of the "titans of industry" that Asami had mentioned earlier tried to get her attention after the fat lady sang (who knew that was actually a thing?). She ignored them all, sweeping me away into her car, and back to her home, where we stripped off our shoes and formal clothes, opting to wear far more comfortable things for an evening of lounging. The entire night, that prickling feeling never left my body. It moved from my neck down my back to... well, you get the picture. Prickles. Lots of them. We talked for hours, sitting side by side in front of Asami's massive fireplace, sipping tea. I won't go into great detail - to be honest, I think we may have talked about both everything and nothing, I just know that I truly, deeply enjoyed her company. She invited me to stay for the night, showing me to one of the guest bedrooms, which was much larger than I was used to, with a much softer bed, as well. As we said our goodnights, she smiled that charming smile of hers, "Well, you were a lovely escort tonight, thank you," she aid, leaning in and kissing my cheek, which I suspect instantly began to glow._

_"Yeah," I stuttered, probably taking a full ten seconds to say that word alone, "I would love to do it again sometime."_

_It was Asami's turn to blush, which caught me completely off guard, and she reached over and took my hand. The left one, to be specific, and squeezed it gently, "Then I suppose we'll have to do just that." Perhaps I was underselling my day today... that prickling feeling never left me, even now, as I sit in Asami's guest bedroom, scrawling in this book. My left hand still feels a little warmer than my right, and I don't think that blush has gone away. I confess that I want to go down the hall and knock on Asami's door. For what? I don't know... I could even just talk to her for a few more hours, study the lines of her face, her eyes, her lips..._

Korra stopped and bit her lip, staring up at the closed door to her own room, lit very dimly by lantern light, she studied the carved dragons as though they were about to spring to life and give her advice. She closed her eyes and steeled herself, trying to focus as the prickling consumed her. She stood, moving towards the door, walking down the hall with as soft of footfalls as she could manage. Korra stood before Asami's bedroom doors, her heart beating the most urgent tattoo in her ears as she raised her hand and knocked softly.

"Who is it?" a very sleepy voice muttered from inside.

"It's me..."

A long pause, "Come in, Korra." And Korra did so.


	3. The Other Side of the Story

F_rom the Desk of Asami Sato_

_I haven't sat down to write to collect my thoughts in a while, so I may be a bit rusty at this. Last night was a bit too interesting to just let slip and not find a way to deal with my thoughts. I was asleep in bed, after a night on the town with Korra, when I heard a knock on the door. When I asked who was there, Korra's voice came from the other side. I told her to come in, and let me tell you, I've never seen Korra's face so red. She shuffled past the door, closing it behind her, then paused, looking as though she might just walk straight back out again with another word._

_"Hi," I said, gathering myself up and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, "is everything all right?" Korra stared at the door for another moment before turning around, wide-eyed. She muttered something about being sorry for waking me, her hands twisting in front of her as if she was trying to tie an elaborate knot out of her own fingers. I patted the edge of the bed, telling her to make herself comfortable. She made her way over, slowly but surely - I'm not sure I'd ever seen her quite so terrified in my life. This was the same girl who had faced down the Equalists and rogue spirits not too long ago, but you wouldn't have been able to tell it by how she looked like my bed was going to spring to life and devour her. There was something so charming about her standing there, stunned - it brings a smile to my face just thinking of it now. She looked lovely, I thought, as she stood there with the moonlight on her face shining through my bedroom window._

_"I thought maybe we should talk," Korra finally managed as she sat down a few feet away from me on the bed. I folded my hands in my lap and took a deep breath. This was it, I was sure of it. I had laid it on somewhat thick last night with all the talk of her being my date to the opera. The way she'd blushed and the look in her eyes had made me think that maybe she was receptive to what I was trying to hint at, but the uncomfortable look on her face made me begin to worry that perhaps I'd misread her._

_"All right," I replied, trying not to betray any particular emotion._

_"I like you," she said, the words practically merging to become one as the dam of nerves that had kept her reserved until then collapsed, unleashing a torrent, "I've always thought you were pretty, and charming, and the way you are with machines is amazing, and I can't help but think-" she said a few more sentences after this, but at that point I was in a haze from the string of compliments. It seems egotistical for me to write them out here, but coming from her, it almost made me doubt the words more - I'd never expected to hear them. A shock ran down my spine, leaving me with a warm, prickling feeling throughout my body. It took me a few moments to realize that Korra had stopped speaking and it was my turn. Her eyes were wide, her lower jaw shifting from side to side as she waited for me to say something._

_"I like you, too," is all that I managed to say at first. Korra instantly relaxed, her body gladly slumping from being straight as a board. "I'm glad that I didn't make an idiot out of myself last night," I said, and reached out to touch Korra's bare arm, feeling electric pulsing through the both of us as I felt her toned muscles flex slightly as she moved._

_"Well, I figured I'd be making an idiot out of myself by coming in here tonight," she said with a smile._

_Thousands of thoughts flooded through my head, things that I wanted to say, to do, but none of them came to fruition. I just shook my head and smiled, squeezing Korra's arm gently, "No, you're fine... we needed to talk about this eventually."_

_"So... does this mean that we should start dating?"_

_"I don't know," I said, frankly, "I feel like it would make our friendship with Mako complicated."_

_Korra's closed her eyes at that, nodding. She took in a deep breath and flared her nostrils before continuing, "But we can't let something like that hold us back forever."_

_"You're right," I replied, and let another pause settle between us, "But we're both tired... maybe tonight isn't the best time to talk about this. I have a dinner that I need to attend in three days, an award ceremony for people who have done good work for the company. Perhaps you'll be my date for that, and we can talk more afterwards? I'd say tomorrow, but I have more meetings and inspections than I can shake a stick at."_

_"I'd love to!" She said cheerfully, practically tackling me with a hug. After a moment she seemed to realize the compromising position we were in, and scrambled back, her face as red as it was when she had come in through the door. _

_"All of this business with the spirit vines in the city has really been taking its toll on me - I'm glad you're around to give me a chance to breathe some fresh air."_

_"It's my pleasure and honor to do so for you, Korra. Now you should probably head back to bed - there's another day of Avatar duties for you to attend to tomorrow, and I'm sure Tenzin doesn't want you to be late for your next lessons." She looked very disappointed at me sending her away, and I was disappointed myself, to be honest, but I knew that we had to take things slowly. Korra began to get out of the bed, then turned back, leaning over to kiss my cheek lightly. I could feel the blush go from the top of my head down to my toes as she quickly scrambled out of the room before I had a chance to reciprocate in any way._

_She was gone by the time I woke up this morning, and it took me until now, in the afternoon, to get half a moment's break and write this all down. Interesting news has come through - apparently people are starting to gain the ability to airbend. Tenzin must be thrilled at the idea! I look forward to hearing more about it tomorrow from Korra at the dinner, I'm sure she'll be relieved that Tenzin will be off her case, and who knows, maybe things will get a little bit easier for her with new benders in the world. Until then, I'll just have to wait, and think about that little kiss on the cheek, and the prickling feeling that lingers on my skin when I think of it._


	4. Wishful Thoughts

_From the Desk of Asami Sato_

_Korra is coming home today! I suppose it has been a while since I've written, so perhaps not giving that context is a bit strange. Then again, I guess treating a sheet of paper like a human being is just as strange. I haven't written since... since the incident. The fight with the Red Lotus, especially the end of Korra's encounter with Zaheer. It's hard for me to revisit that day, I really thought we were going to lose her. Even the following days, where she was firmly set in a depression at all that she lost during that fight. I wish she had let me go with her, I have been feeling this... empty ache inside as she's been away. Each time a letter arrived from her, I felt my spirits soar sky high, but they only came crashing back down again as I was forced to wait for the arrival of the next. I admit, I feel incredibly selfish, knowing that Korra was only writing back to me and not Bolin or Mako. It sends a thrill through me that I'm honestly starting to understand more and more as time goes on. It's not some random prickling sensation, I'm starting to think it's... no, no... I'm not going to write that. It's stupid and childish. Korra and I will just have to talk when she gets back. Tonight. TONIGHT!_

The excited words of the journal entry seemed to taunt Asami as she stared at the page lying on her desk. Korra had lied to everyone. She had told her father that she had gone ahead to Republic City, and her friends in the city were led to believe that she'd be arriving with her father. What had gotten into her? Asami blinked back tears. Korra should have at least told her something, given her some hint. But no. She crushed the paper in her fist and threw it across the room, letting out a gentle cry. Asami grabbed another sheet of paper and began to write rapidly, her words a scrawl compared to her normal, neat handwriting.

_From the Desk of Asami Sato_

_Korra did not come home today. I feel like a bit of a fool that I even bothered writing anything in the journal. I don't know why I feel so betrayed. I haven't been betrayed more than anyone else. It just feels that way. Knowing that she was only writing to me, that I was her only confidant through her entire healing process. The night that she spent here. The things we talked about. I thought things were starting to finally come together. Then again, with everything that happened, I wouldn't blame her if her feelings have changed. I almost lost her... that is... she almost died, and I know what that did to me, I can only imagine what it did to her. I just want to see her face again, to look in her eyes, feel her strong arms around me in a hug._

The following few sentences were a blur of smeared ink, completely indecipherable, picking up again a quarter page down.

_Bolin, of course, is trying to make the best of things. He is always such an optimist. I wish I had some of that in me, but it's getting more and more difficult. He invited me out for noodles, but I honestly just wasn't hungry. I couldn't tell him why I was so down about the whole thing - Korra never wanted anyone to know that there was something special going on between us. Until we figured out just what was going on, it would only make things that much more complicated, after all. I wonder if she's ever going to return to Republic City. Part of me wouldn't blame her if she abandoned her post as the Avatar. The world has moved on for this long without one, just as it continued on for one hundred years before Aang resurfaced, but something just doesn't feel right. The world needs an Avatar. I need Korra._

"I really do," Asami muttered to herself, letting the pen clatter to the desk as she sat back in her chair, pulling her nightgown around her. She put her head in her hands and rubbed at her face, breathing out a long sigh. She glanced out at the moon, high in the sky, causing the water beneath to sparkle. It wasn't entirely unlike the night that Korra came to her with her confession. She looked back at her bed and felt that prickling feeling flush back through her body as she thought of that night, though the prickling quickly turned into the stabbing of a knives. That night was so long ago. Years ago, in fact. Asami slid between the covers and closed her eyes, picturing Korra in her mind. That cocky little smirk, her smooth dark skin, the way she laughed whenever Bolin tried to show off Pabu's latest trick and failed horribly. She tried to hold that image of Korra in her mind, above the images of Korra sitting in a wheelchair, looking beautiful in formal attire. Beautiful but empty, as the spirit had drained for her eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes that told volumes of what was in the Avatar's heart. Asami squeezed her eyes tighter, fighting those images from her head, and thought of Korra laying next to her once again. She felt her body relax as she pretended, breathing in and out, trying hard to remember just how Korra smelled. She felt that familiar sensation of warmth trickle through her body as she focused on that perfect image, the lines of Korra's face, the curves of her body as she lay there, nervous - adorable. Sometimes she wished that things had progressed that night, beyond just talking, and what could have been if they hadn't been so afraid. Asami took in a deep breath, eyes still closed, forgetting her pain of not seeing Korra that night, and let herself fall into those wishful thoughts.


	5. Reunion

_From the Desk of Asami Sato_

_I finally saw Korra again today. That is, she, Mako, and I (I'll conveniently omit Price Wu from the equation) had dinner together for the first time in three years. I sat at the restaurant, waiting for what felt like forever. It took all of the etiquette lessons that my father forced on me growing up to not fidget and peek around the corner every five seconds. I couldn't believe it when I saw her. I wanted to cry, I wanted to yell... instead, I just acted calmly. There was no need to make a scene inside of the restaurant._

_"I hope you haven't been waiting long," she said. Hearing her voice again, I couldn't help but smile and throw my arms around her. She felt different. Part of me wants to say... lesser. Like she left part of herself behind during her time away. Perhaps she had, though that would be something she and I could talk about later. No, I hadn't been waiting long... only three years, plus the days that it took for her to finally arrive after she'd lied to everyone about where she was. Oh, yes, we'd be having a very long conversation after dinner, that was for certain. Korra cut her hair while she was gone. I still haven't quite figured out how I feel about that. I like it - no, in fact, I love it. It suits her much better than her old style, but when you hold an image of someone in your head for three years and they come back looking different, it makes for a little bit of an adjustment. I did compliment her on it, however, and she turned the loveliest shade of red I think I've ever seen._

_Dinner, however, got a little heated when I accidentally let slip that I'd been communicating with Korra since she'd bee gone. "What's going on with you guys?" Mako asked, clearly hurt by the fact that Korra had avoided talking to him and Bolin. We exchanged nervous, shy glances before Korra confessed, though she clearly wasn't ready to tell Mako about what was "going on" with us. If there is anything going on with us, I have to keep reminding myself. There's no use in getting ahead of myself. That's how hearts get broken, and I really don't need that right now. The next bout of awkwardness came when I told Korra, who had just a moment before said she wanted to know everything that had been going on, that I was in contact with my father again. She had the audacity to question if I knew what I was getting into, if I could trust him. Of course I can't trust him completely, but that doesn't make him not my father... more about that later, though. Thankfully, and I use that term incredibly loosely, Prince Wu decided that he needed to use the bathroom, and that broke up the tension. I will spare writing down the details, but let's just say that we ended up on a chase through Republic City trying to retrieve a stolen prince._

_I could go through all of the thrilling details: the car chase, the showdown on top of a speeding train... I could go through all of that, but I won't. Instead, I'll talk about how that felt, because that's why I'm writing these things down, after all. The most exhilirating thing of all was that we never really missed a beat. Team Avatar was the cohesive unit that it always had been, practically able to read each other's minds and work together. In this, I'm not even just talking about Korra and I, although I think we actually had more of a connection than Mako did with either of us, which might explain a thing or two about dating history. The only thing missing was a few jokes from Bolin to keep us from getting too serious. We had a big, cheesy group hug at the end of the whole affair before making a decision that I am not entirely sure I regret or not: Prince Wu is now residing in my home. It's not that he's really an awful person, it's simply that he's extremely out of touch with reality. I'm hoping that interacting with Mako's family from Ba Sing Se will show him what life was like for those less fortunate than him, but Mako's grandmother constantly fawning over the newly arrived royalty certainly is not helping that._

_I'm getting off track, though. This evening, Korra and I took a walk around the grounds of my home, just the two of us. It was hard to find things to say at first, but sitting near a babbling fountain as the moon glistened on the rippling water, I finally broke our silence._

_"I apologized already for snapping at you during dinner," I began cautiously, "but that doesn't mean I have completely forgiven you."_

_"I know," she replied hastily, "it was awful of me to go wandering off on my own without telling anyone. Especially... especially you," she hesitated now, tears growing in her eyes, "I just didn't know who I was anymore. I'm pretty sure I know better now... I hope I do, at least. These past three years have been hard... even with how much I trust you and can talk to you, I'm not sure I can even put into words how they felt."_

_I placed my hand gently on hers and tried my best to give her a smile, though I fear it was a very thin-lipped model, "I'm not angry with you. I do forgive you, I am sorry that I said it that way. What have you been doing this entire time, anyway?"_

_"I... ended up wandering the countryside, competing in fights in little bars."_

_"That explains the increase in bulk," I teased, rubbing at the contours of her forearm, leading to her biceps, my fingers exploring the crevices made by the tension of the muscles._

_"I would have told you," Korra finally said, turning that beautiful shade of red again, though the moonlight muted it, "but I didn't even know where I was going myself for the longest time. I picked up a pen and paper more than once, only to crumple whatever I'd scribbled and toss it away. Nothing seemed enough. Not for you. Not until I made sense of it all."_

_"So what did you finally figure out?"_

_"That I belong here... that I'm part of this world. Although my failure at Zaofu just went to show me that I still have a lot that I need to work out." She breathed out a long sigh, wrapping her muscular arms around my slender ones and placing her head on my shoulder, "And I belong here... with you. I mean, if you want me to stay here by your side. I don't want to impose, after all. It's been three years, and our reunion didn't exactly go as planned."_

_"I wouldn't have it any other way," I said, and paused for a moment, staring up at the moon before turning, taking Korra's chin between two fingers and leading her in for a kiss._


	6. Love and Loss

I can't believe I'm writing in this journal again. So much has changed since the last time I scribbled anything in here... I don't even think the last few pages were written by the same person. That's not true, they were written by a part of me that still exists. And I think that's really what I want to write about. I've come to realize that there's more than just one me, and that's okay. For so long, I was being called on to be the Avatar, that I struggled to be anyone else. I was a pro bender for a while, too, but that didn't last. I am a role model for Jinora, Ikki, Meelo, and Rohan - whether Tenzin particularly likes that or not. And... well... and I'm Asami's girlfriend. That seems to strange to write, but it's true now. Things have calmed down enough that I can actually enjoy that element of my life, and Asami and I are taking a little vacation together to the Spirit World. We both really need a vacation, some time off that we can enjoy. I spent far too much of the past three years doing nothing and getting nowhere, I kind of hated myself, to tell the truth. But now, after the battle in Republic City against Kuvira, I see the path that lies ahead of me. It's one of balance and love and peace. At least inwardly. At least I'll try to make it one - I don't think my temper is just going to disappear overnight, or ever, really, but it's a matter of controlling it, not entirely unlike fire bending. It's all about directing that destructive force in a way that does some good.

The rest of the gang is doing fairly well. We all had a lot of fun together at Varrick and Zhu Li's wedding (who the heck saw that coming, right? I guess there's someone for everyone), and it was a good way to spend some time with them before Asami and I go off on our indefinite adventure. It'll be great to really see the Spirit World without a specific task in mind, and I think it will really help me grow as the Avatar. I don't want to leave the world a mess that the next Avatar has to clean up after, you know?

I think I'm writing to avoid the thing that's bothering me the most. Asami's father died during the fight against Kuvira. He was a hero, and despite his previous attempts to destroy benders, he truly came through in the end and made the ultimate sacrifice. Sometimes, on the nights that I stay at Asami's house, she breaks down crying in the middle of the night. She knows her father sacrificed himself because he loved her, and I think she feels guilty because of it. I think that she's afraid that someday I'll do the same. I tell her that it will never come to that, but there are times that I wonder if it will. I'd do anything for her, besides, it's my job to do what's best for the world, and I can't think of a better world than one where Asami's smile is still shining. She tells me that her smile wouldn't be there anymore if I died, and maybe that's true, but the truth is that life goes on, with or without us. Of course, then there are the dreams that I've been having lately, the only bad ones that still seem to come up.

Asami is at the edge of a cliff, a masked figure holding her by the throat, ready to push her off. I can't remember every word he says, but in the end I know that my choice is saving thousands of lives or saving Asami. My stomach is churning violently as I'm writing this, as it does those nights, when I wake up in a cold sweat, tangled up in my sheets. I never reply to him, never give him my answer. My limbs always feel heavy, like they're weighted down by stones and I can't move them to bend. Asami tells me, as she does in my dream, that I would need to let her go in order to save the majority of people. It's the only right thing to do. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one, Tenzin told me once, and it always made sense to me until these dreams started. I am selfish, terribly selfish, but I'm not sure I could make that sacrifice. Some nights, I beg the figure to take me instead, but that's never an option, it's always Asami or the multitudes. I hope that it never comes to that, and I'll do everything in my power to keep her safe, as she has done for me so many times in the past. I just... I know what the right answer is. I do. I'm just not sure I'll ever be able to handle it, or live with myself afterwards if I ever have to make it.

Enough about that, though. The pages of this journal are almost completely filled, and I can't help but think that it would be bad to finish them on a sour note. Maybe if I start another journal I'll dive back into the darker depths once again, but for now, I will just say that even after all of these years, I still get that prickling feeling when I see Asami. It starts in my stomach and slowly expands until it encompasses my entire body, and all I can do is want her, need her. I feel it now even as I write this, and chills are running up and down my spine. I can't wait to step through that portal with her, together, hand in hand. And who knows? Maybe someday in the future we'll be in attendance of another wedding. Well, do you really "attend" your own wedding? I guess that's what I get for trying to write it poetically or whatever... but that would really be something to celebrate, now wouldn't it?

~FIN~


End file.
